Almost a year...

Well is about a week and a half my little Evelyn is going to be a year old. I can't believe time has flown by so fast. Our schedule is about the same as before except Evelyn goes to bed a little later. I am so grateful for that. Everyone told me that the whole working away from home would get better, but it really has only gotten worse. My relationship with Evelyn has changed quite a bit and she seems to prefer being with my aunt now so I can't really give too much detail on the things she does. I get most of the stories second hand. Don't think I am taking any of this lightly because I am not, but if I say too much on the subject I will just get upset so... moving on...

She has grown up so much! She is still small in size, but very big in personality! She still hates crawling on her hands and knees because her tummy is faster, but my aunt said that sometimes she will crawl on her belly, but try to use one knee to push off of. She is a little strange sometimes! :) She is almost walking, too! She has been cruising for a while, but I sometimes catch her standing on her own without help balancing. She won't try to take a step though; she just drops to the floor and crawls where she wants to go! My aunt has taught her a few things too! She likes doing "ojitos" (which is Spanish for "little eyes" so she bats her eyes), she likes to show you her tongue, touch her ears and head, and do "arms up"! Sometimes she waves, but usually she looks at you like she has no idea what you are talking about! She says Dada, but she doesn't say Mama really anymore. For some reason she says "cat". I try to explain to her that mama is allergic so she probably won't be getting one, but she insists. She insists on a lot lately. She gets pretty spoiled at my aunt's so now she screams to get what she wants... not my favorite new things, but I am working on correcting that one. She also has 7 teeth! She is working on her eighth, but it hasn't cut just yet.

Isn't she cute?!

We decided to wean her from breast milk too about a week ago. My last day to nurse her was May 15th. (yes i marked the day) She just didn't seem interested anymore and I was afraid she wasn't getting enough. Now she is getting whole milk and she loves it! I think she may fatten up now!

A few weeks ago we took her to my father in laws to go swimming. She loved it! I thought she would be afraid, but she wasn't even a little bit! She just floated in the water like she belonged there! Joey even dunked her in the water a few times to get her used to it and I am so thankful that she was comfortable with it. I am hoping to take her to the pool more often this summer. Hopefully we will have enough time, because I want her to be very comfortable with the water. I don't think she will have any problems though.

My little water baby!


How can you NOT smile when you see this?

Already wanting to take the car!

So there is a little update on our little girl. I am sure I will blog again as her birthday approaches and then about her birthday party. I was going to try to do something small with just family, but my family is so big the guest list got a little large! We will see what happens!

As hard as things are right now there are moments that just melt my heart. Lately Evelyn likes to hug. She likes to hug her animals and a couple of time she has just given my a big hug. I can't tell you how much that means to me right now. Then a few weeks ago I was having a particularly hard day. I came home and I was just warn out from all the stress and sadness. I turned on the radio in Evelyn's room and after I changed her we started dancing. A little two-step in the bedroom before bed! She just smiled and giggled! That was one of the most precious moments I've had in my entire life. Times like that make me feel like maybe I am strong enough to get through the hard times. I love my little angel.

9 Months and Working

Well I tried to be better about blogging, but too much is going on. Let's just start with Evelyn's 9 month appointment. I can't believe she is already 9 months old! She is still tiny, but such a big girl! Her weight at her appointment was 16lb 3oz. It was the end of the day and she had just eaten a pretty big mean, but I will take it! Her height was 26". She is just not going to be tall. I guess with her genes she had no hope! ha! The doctor was so impressed with how calm she is. She is so curious and just tries to figure out everything. She has 5 teeth now and she walks while holding on to our hands. She still won't crawl on her hands and knees but she is pretty fast crawling on her belly. I've seen her play patty cake, but only once. My aunt (who watches her during the day) says she does it all the time. She also likes to stick out her tongue at you. I love my little monkey!

Can you read her shirt?

My precious angel!

And now for the hard stuff. I went back to work the middle of January. I started back the the tax office I used to work at. I loved being at home with Evelyn, but we just couldn't afford it. I knew I would have a hard time going back to the tax office, but that was my only option at the time so here i am. We are having a pretty hard time because of my schedule. Since it is tax season I have to go in at 7 in the morning. That means I have to get Evelyn up at 5:45 so we can leave by 6:20 and I can take her to the sitter and get to work. I've been trying to stay til 6 every night so that I can get caught up so that means I get home at 6:15 and then she gets a bath at 6:45 and is in bed by 7. So if you do the math, I get about half and hour with her a day. It is killing me. One of the reasons I don't blog anymore is because I really don't have any updates. I get stories second hand. I have to have my aunt tell me what foods Evelyn likes because I really don't even know that. I've also had to start working Saturdays too so we don't even get a full weekend. I am missing so much and it just breaks my heart and it makes it hard to acknowledge what I am missing. I don't mean to just complain. I have a lot to be thankful, but it is hard to go from being with your child all the time to being with her so little that you don't even know her likes and dislikes anymore. I use to have sure fire tricks to make her happy, but now i have nothing.

And to make things even better... Evelyn has been sick AGAIN! She had RSV about a month ago and now she has another respiratory virus (NOT RSV). She is starting to feel better, but now i am sick! I know that everyone has been waiting for me to blog, but trust me when I say if I would have been blogging this whole time then they wouldn't have been very happy ones. Joey keeps telling me that it would be like this forever and I do believe him, but once it passes and I am able to spend a decent amount of time with Evelyn, I will have missed so much and won't ever be able to get it back. That is a very VERY hard reality.

An update on health!

I haven't written a blog since November I think and I really don't have a good excuse except for life getting too hectic. I am going to try to write some blogs in the next couple of days to bring everyone up to speed, but tonight I'm just gonna start with Evelyn's progress. I probably won't post any new pics this time because I am pumping as I type and the camera is in the other room! I wasn't prepared! :o)

So we went to Evelyn's 6 month appointment the beginning of December. She was 25 3/4" long and 13 lbs 13 oz. Her length is pretty much staying the same percentile, but her weight dropped. I was a little concerned because she looked so much thinner, but the doctor said not to be too concerned. She was thriving and she didn't look malnourished at all. She said Evelyn is probably just petite. She said to go ahead and be more aggressive with her solids and try to focus on starchy foods and she wanted to check her weight again in 6 weeks just to make sure she was gaining as she should. So she started getting more solids and I hoped she would gain more weight.

Six weeks later we went in for her weight check. This time she was only 14 lbs 3 oz. Of course I felt horrible. The doctor asked how much she was eating and told her that Evelyn eats like a teenager! She eats and eats and eats! Again the doctor said that since she was gaining weight and she was still alert and active not to be concerned, BUT she wanted to check her thyroid just in case. Since Evelyn would need to get blood work done at her 9 month appointment we went ahead and did it then so we could check her thyroid with everything else. The next day the nurse called and said everything looked good! YEAH! We were so relieved! Then a few weeks later we got another call...

Yesterday the nurse called and left a message on my cell. She said the doctor wanted Evelyn to come in for some more blood work. The previous test showed her platelet count was low. I called back and left a message for the nurse. Of course I was worried and when I didn't get a call back in an hour I called again and they put me through to the lab. The lab tech told me the platelet count was VERY low and we needed to come in ASAP! She terrified me! I left work and picked up Evelyn and Joey met us there. They drew blood and Evelyn did such a good job! She didn't even flinch! She just looked at her arm and then up at the guy drawing the blood then back at her arm...back and forth. I was so proud of her! Anyway, while we were there Joey asked the tech what her platelet count was last time. She said it was 50 and that it should be over 150. Then the panic really started to set in. We went home and started researching low platelet count and what it could indicate... bad idea. Joey and I were close to tears at the thought that our little angel could be sick. It was a long night!

Today I stayed home from work to be with Evelyn while I waited for the nurse to call me. She called this morning and said the tests were fine... "What do you mean they're fine?" She said they were all normal. I asked why they were so low last time. She didn't have an answer. So then I got upset. I asked her how i was supposed to trust that she was fine when the same nurse called after the first test and said everything was fine. I needed answers and she was not giving me anything! She said she would have to doctor call me. The rest of the day was spent relieved that she was OK, but worried that I couldn't trust it. It was terrible! The doctor finally called me and she was so apologetic. Either Evelyn had a virus before that was causing the low platelet count and it fixed itself or there was a blood clot in the sample that caused a false low in the test. She assured me that she went over all the tests and Evelyn was fine. The reason I got a good call before was because she was letting me know about the thyroid and the nurse misspoke when she told me EVERYTHING was normal. So the outcome is Evelyn is happy and healthy! We feel so blessed!

Now the bed part: after everything was settled and we were so happy she is healthy, she started coughing like she is trying to hack up a lung! Her chest is very congested and we are not sure why. She doesn't have a fever or any other symptom so now it is just keep an eye on her and see what happens.

I hate this wait and see approach!

As always I'm not going to check this for any errors so just let me know about anything major...
and Erica I promise I won't wait so long to do another one! :o)

My Giggle Monster!

Ok my last completly random post of the day! My baby girl's little laugh just makes me smile!
When people see her in public she tends to keep a straight face and hardly ever lets it go, but this is what we get at home!

Evelyn's Random Cuteness!

Born to shop!

It has finally started getting chilly here in Texas and I realized that of all of Evelyn's clothes, she has very little that are long sleeves and she doesn't have ANY dresses that are warm so of course it was time to go shopping! So my mom and I went shopping and we saw so many cute things! My mom was going a little overboard and I kept telling her "I think that's enough" and my mom's response was "But she NEEDS it!" Well when we went to the cashier my mom kept piling clothes on top of clothes! This is how it went:

Cashier: (giggling) Is this going to be all for you?

Me: Mom I told it was too much!

Mom: Like I said, she needs it!

Me: Mom she needs a couple of long sleeve onesies and maybe a couple of long sleeve dresses for church. She doesn't need a tutu dress and a pink fur coat!!!

By now the cashier was cracking up, but so were we, especially Evelyn. I think she was having fun! So we went home and I tried a few things on her and I think was born to wear pretty sparkly things! What do you think? I don't know... maybe she DID need the pink fur coat!!! Maybe we should all have one!

Evelyn's 1st Halloween!

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays! I was so excited to dress Evelyn up and go trick or treating! I searched and searched for a costume, but the only ones that would fit her were the ones with the bunting. They are cute, but we were planning on going to a lot of different places and we wouldn't be able to take her in and out of her car seat with those costumes. The solution was for me to make her costume. It made me very nervous because the last time and only time I sewed anything was in highschool for class, but I was determined! I found instructions on how to make a pumpkin costume from Martha Stewart (I love her stuff!) and I decided I was going to make a cap for the pumpkin top. The problem was I needed material with some stretch to make the cap fit right. I didn't know how I was going to find fabric that was the right color orange with some stretch. Well the week before Joey broke a pen on a work shirt and it was ruined. And guess what... it was a perfect orange shirt! So I made Evelyn's costume out of Joey's Aces shirt!


Halloween started off perfect! Evelyn and I just hung out all day. Joey finished carving the pumpkin and put the same face on it that was on Evelyn's costume!

I made a hat out of one of the sleeves on Joey's shirt. I was just checking the size and was going to throw it out, but then I decided it was a nice warm little hat!

After we got Evelyn dressed we started on our Halloween journey! We went to a friends house for a little Halloween party where she had her first cupcake!

She started to get fussy and we decided to leave. We went to our church's festival, but that did not last long! She started to get very fussy and we decided to leave when she started screaming and wouldn't stop. We made a few quick stops, but ended up going home and she continued to scream for about an hour! It ended up being a very difficult night and the only thing that seemed to calm her down was chewing on ice. It breaks my heart that her first Halloween was so hard for her and that she was in pain. Maybe next year she will have more fun the whole night!

My baby pumpkin!

Our little family's first Halloween!

One Year...

I'm going to try to make this a short blog because it's late and Joey wants to go to bed, but I wanted to remember this feeling. Today my niece Hannah was born. She weighed 6lbs 13.5 oz and was 19" long-Almost exactly like Evelyn (she was 6lbs 14oz 19.5") I held her and she was so light! Evelyn is 13lbs now so to be it was a big difference. My other niece Alyssa was born 2 weeks ago at 32 weeks gestation (she is doing well, but, please, keep her in your prayers). So all the babies have been born. When I was holding Hannah it hit me. Today is October 17th and it was exactly one year ago today that I found out I was pregnant. I remember taking that test first thing in the morning and being so happy I literally jumped up and down! And it was exactly one year and 1 day ago that I thought I would never have a child. I remember praying and praying and feeling that maybe I would be a bad mother. I thought maybe God was telling me that I shouldn't be a mother. I remember the moment I gave it all to God. I was alone at home and hysterically crying and praying. I told God I was ready to let it go and trust that He would take care of me. It was roughly a month later that I found myself looking at those 2 lines on the test. It has been an amazing journey and so much has changed in the last year. God has blessed us in so many ways. Now that we are having a difficult time I find myself filled with fear and worry, but then I look at my beautiful daughter and I know God is with me and that all I have to do it give it to Him. God answers prayers. I just thought I would share.

Nite Nite...

So I've really been trying to make sure Evelyn has good sleep habits. Every kid has their stages where they can't sleep or they don't want to sleep, but I just wanted to make sure she has good sleep habits so that it would be easier to deal with those stages. Also I figure since I am home right now I better take advantage of it and if we have a bad night I can try to catch up on sleep the next day. The ultimate goal was to be able to get her to go to sleep by herself without needing us to rock her or feed her. So after a little trial and error we have a sold bedtime routine (so far!)

First Evelyn gets her bath. She LOVES her baths! When we fill her little tub she lets her legs float and she splashes around. I put her rubber ducky on her belly and she just gets a kick out of it! She even loves getting her hair washed. It is a fun time for all! After her bath she gets a rubdown with some sleepy time lotion. I always heard of the benefits of baby massage, but it is amazing how much it calms her down. After she gets her jammies on, she gets her hair brushed. It is hit or missed with brushing her hair. Sometimes it seems to soothe her and other times she yells at me to just leave it alone. (One of her traits she gets from mommy) After her hair is all brushed, we have a little cuddle time. I like to rock her for a little while as long as she is awake. Then she gets put in her crib. I give her the pacifier. I have some reservations about the pacifier because I don't want her to become too dependent on it, but so far when she wakes in the midde of the night and it's not in her mouth she can sill put herself to sleep. I hope that continues. Anyway, she has her pacifier and I read a book to her. She gets so quiet and just listens contently. It is so cute. She even looks at the pictures and then looks over at me when she is finished with that page. After her book I give her a kidd, turn on her baby glow worm so she has some light, turn off the other lights, and leave the room. I hear her talk to her glow worm for a little bit and then she is out! This is one of the most precious moments of the day!

My other favorite time of the day is getting her up in the morning. I hear her play for a little bit so I go in there to get her. I sneak up on her crib and when she notices me she SO SO SO excited! She giggles and squirms! I pick her up and we just hug each other! It makes me smile just to think about it!

I just wanted to share our bedtime routine. I love that precious girl so much! I hear her talking so that means it's time for mommy to go get her! I'll leave you with the beautiful smile I love so much!

I think we should tell each other...

This comes from an old episode of Desperate Housewives. So if you know the show you might know the story, but if you don't, here is a rundown. Lynette is a say at home mom with 4 kids, twin 6 years olds, one 5 year old and one infant. She is completely overwhelmed and started taking ADD medication to get through the day. Once she is hooked on them she realized there is a problem and breaks down. Her friends come to her rescue and she tells them that she feels like she can't take it and she is a terrible mother especially since her friends are perfect mothers with perfect children. Her friends then tell her about all the times they felt that way and how horrible it can feel sometimes when you are a new mother or even if you are a seasoned mother. Lynette tells them that she never knew that about them and it is her belief that they should start telling each other these things. This is my belief, too. I think we are all going through or have gone through the same thing, but at one point or another we think that we are alone. A lot of times this comes with shame or guilt. I know as a new mother I often feel like I don't measure up to the name Mother in comparison to my amazing friends. It may be irrational, but it is a very real feeling.

One of the reasons we are having a hard time is the me working issue. On the one hand I wanted to stay home with Evelyn. I wanted to be able to stay home and take care of my family. It was so important to me to be able to cook and clean and spend extra time with Evelyn and my future children, but we just can't afford it. I am willing to make sacrifices to make this happen, but the sacrifices I would have to make mean turning off the Internet, cable, house phone, cutting back our already small cellphone plan and dealing with a hot house in the summer and a cold house in the winter. Yes I would be able to stay home but that is not a great life for Evelyn and there is no guarantee that that would even be enough. So it just makes me sick to even think of ourselves in this situation. So much so that I have become almost paralyzed by all my thoughts. I am so overwhelmed that I can hardly take the time to clean and cook and do all the things that were so important to me except for playing and teaching Evelyn. That is the highlight of my life. (I love that little monkey!) So then one can argue is it really best for my family for me to stay home. OK so I have to go back to work. I've been looking for a while, but have yet to find something. So it sees pretty obvious that I need to go back to work, but that is so hard too. When I go back all those things I wanted for my family go away. The money situation gets taken care of and I will finally be able to take care of everything without worry, but I will be working so I will still need to take some time while I am at home to do the cooking and cleaning. That means less time playing with Evelyn and spending family time together. Then there is the part where Evelyn will have to spend her days with someone else. This is going to be the hardest part. I don't want her to be sad when she is without me because i want her to have fun, but it will break my heart to know she is excited to be away from me. I know every mother has to deal with this, but why does everyone just play it off as something you get emotional about and then get over. It is so heartbreaking.

Then again there is fear that I won't get a job (I have an interview this Thursday) because if I don't then I won't be able to provide for my child. I know she is getting everything she needs, but it is so heartbreaking to know that if I don't find something we wouldn't be able to give her a Christmas. As an infant she won't need a lot of toys, but it is the principle of the matter.

This is one of the issues that has made things hard for our family right now and I hope it is one that will be resolved soon for my sanity sake. I know I am not the only one who has ever felt this way, but it seems like we are all so afraid to say anything. Maybe it is because we are ashamed. I know I feel pretty ashamed being a college graduate who has always been described as responsible who can't even provide for her child. Maybe it is just because we don't want to bring the people around us down with sob stories. I am not sure what the reason is, but I know that all the silence tends to make everyone feel very alone and I don't think any of us should feel alone.

So this was a long, emotional, sometimes irrational rant of a blog that just has one basic theme: I think we should tell each other these things.

Isn't it funny how I only blog once a month or so, but when I do blog I tend to do two or more at a time? I will try to be better!

And here is another picture of random cuteness because she makes me smile and how could you not? She is precious! Here is my little girl in her jammies before bed!

4 Month Check up

I haven't posted in so long and I would like to say that I am going to get better at it, but I probably won't. Frankly the our little family has been having a difficult time lately for a couple of reasons and I find that I don't have the time or the frame of mind to write a blog, but I am going to try to keep it up.

So Evelyn had her 4 month check up and it was so bittersweet! She is SO big now and she amazes me everyday! I was so sure she was going to be an easy 15lbs, but this time she weighed in at 13lbs 4oz and she was 23 3/4" long. Still a little less than 50th percentile, but when i look at her she is my little chunky monkey!

This is her before our appointment. Isn't she cute! I was concerned that Evelyn wasn't getting enough fluids because since I have been pumping she has only taken about 16-20 ounces a day. It has worked out because that is all that I have been able to make in a day, but it still seemed like not enough. Basically the doctor said that if she won't take anymore than I really can't force her, but I need to start her on a multi-vitamin. Then she gave us the OK on solid foods. So I made some sweet potatoes and squash and we decided to start with the sweet potatoes. We got some great video of it, but here are a few pictures. At first she was a little confused, but then she LOVED them! Now she opens her mouth like a little bird just waiting for her new foods!

She also got some shots, but she took them like a champ! Her little legs still have bruises on them, but other than that she is perfect and had a great appointment! While the doctor and I were talking the doctor was running her fingers through Evelyn's hair and then she told me what I already knew! She said she sees babies all day long and that I had one beautiful baby! We both kind of laughed because I can't help but do the same thing. I find myself just running my fingers through her hair and just stare at her. I just love my baby girl!

Here is just another shot of random cuteness!

Tooth Fairy here we come!

My baby girl is now 3 months old and is no longer considered a newborn. She is now an infant. I spent a couple of hours the other day going through her clothes and putting up the ones that no longer fit her and, yes, I did it in tears! I can't believe how much she has changed and how fast it has happened. In a blink of an eye she is turning into her own little person! YIKES! Well the newest occurrence was a bit of a shock and was very sad to me!

Last Sunday we went to church with my grandparents in Sweeny. It was my grandmama's birthday and we thought we would spend some time with her. The week before Evelyn was so good during church services and we thought we would give her another change. So we are sitting in church and singing (which Evelyn loves!) and she start to get fussy. Joey gives her the pacifier and she spits it out so he gives it to her again and again she spits it out. I look over and she is so desperate to get that pacifier that she is just shoving the closest thing in her mouth which was the burp cloth. I started to get irritated at Joey for not making sure she was able to keep her pacifier, but then we I started to really look at her I noticed something. She was intentionally spitting out the pacifier and she wasn't sucking on the burp cloth, she was rubbing her gums on it. My brain immediately runs through everything I read about teething. It was too soon. She wasn't even 3 full months yet! Joey tells me he is going to take her out to the foyer and calm her down. I was only half listening because I was still thinking, but I gave him a little nod and he left. Then I realized I still had her blanket and it is very cold in that church. So I go out to the foyer and I see Evelyn sitting on Joey's lap with his finger in her mouth. He sees me and says "guess what?" My eyes got huge and all I could say was "NO!" (If you are a FRIENDS fan then I would describe the moment like when Ross goes to the B&B with Emily and calls the next day and Rachael hears it for the first time. If you aren't a FRIENDS fan then disregard!) So of course I run to her and feel her gums. Sure enough she has a little sharp bump in the front and as soon as I touche it, Evelyn clamped down and started rubbing her gums on me. I was in complete shock and yes I started crying (I do that a lot!) I told Joey it was impossible! I started teething at 7 months. I made him text his mom to see when he started to teeth and you guessed it... 3 months! My baby girl is getting her first tooth. Now I know it could take a while for it to actually pop out, but still, it is on it's way and all I can do it just hang on for the ride!

So now I am going to leave you with some more pictures of my baby girl who will be my big girl all too soon! (I guess I was wrong on my last blog... Evelyn did sleep long enough for me to write two in one day! WOW!)

Been a long time!

I have not blogged in such a long time! I think I may have forgotten how to do it! At the very least I may not get is finished before Evelyn wakes up, but I'll try.

The main reason I have not blogged is because Evelyn won't let me! For the last 4 weeks she has refused to nap. She will gladly go to bed and when she wakes up in the middle of the night she puts her self back to sleep, but she wouldn't nap. It was the hardest thing to see her eyes swollen and red, her crying and cranky, but fighting sleep all day long! I finally decided to start getting her to sleep by letting her fall asleep on my tummy and then putting her in bed. So far so good (it's only been 3 days). That is how we got her to sleep through the night. First we let her sleep on us all night so that she got use to sleeping that long and then we started putting her in her crib and voila! I know that is hardly the "recommended" way to do it, but it works for her (I hope).

She is such a different little girl now! She loves to smile and giggle, but only if SHE wants to! She has such a personality. Lately she has started letting her tongue hang out of her mouth like a puppy, but she knows the camera because every time I get it to take a picture she puts that tongue back in her mouth and glares at me! I guess she hates camera like her mama! Another thing she has started doing is crossing her eyes. Every time she gets a bottle or sucks on her pacifier she wants to stare at it and thus crossing her eyes. She is so cute!

I caught a glimpse of her tongue as she was trying to put it back in! She is sneaky, but sometimes mommy is sneakier!

Her reflux is getting so much better, too. She still spits up, but it no longer hurts her and it isn't as often. The trick has been adding cereal to every feeding. There was a good things and a 'difficult' thing about that. Since she was born I have been trying to exclusively breastfeed without success. I just never made enough and I did not have the time or help to try to build a supply. With the cereal I don't have to make as much because it fills her up longer. So the difficult part is that I have become an exclusive pumper. That means I am having to pump constantly so that I can give her breast milk in a bottle. That is very time consuming, but the great thing is that she is only on breast milk now (except for 1/2-1oz. of formula she gets before bed). It was so important for me to be able to give my child breast milk and now it is happening. The even better part is that I am building my supply back up and the doctor said that once she grows out of the reflux I should be able to nurse her on my own AND since I still nurse her sometimes I can see that having the bottle has not affected her ability to nurse! YEAH!

I just can't believe how much I love this little girl! I am so blessed to be able to spend my days with her. We are still trying to figure out the me not working thing. I was going to see about being a substitute for a while to make extra money, but the women who was going to watch Evelyn gave me a call and said she couldn't do it right now. So that means I can't work right now, but I am trying to just hand it over to God and not worry about it. I always wanted to be able to stay home with my child and even though financially it isn't the best time, I have to just enjoy my time with her.

I'm going to try to write another blog today about the most recent even in Evelyn's life, but if I don't get a chance, I will tomorrow.

I have to loosen up!

The last few days have been so difficult around here and it ended with me telling Joey that I don't want to ever leave the house! Bad things happen when I leave the house! Last weekend was great! We went to dinner with friends and we even had a chance to take a nap after church... all three of us!

See how cute she was for dinner? She even had little shoes on!

Monday was going to be a great day too! I was planning on going out with some friends of mine for a girl's day out! We were going to go to lunch and a movie. My mom wanted to watch Evelyn so it all worked out!

We went to lunch and it felt good to just get out of the house and to be able to just eat lunch and not have to worry about Evelyn. We had just bought our tickets for the movie when my mom called. She said the A/C wasn't working. It was 88 in the house and Evelyn was getting too hot! We just had a new unit put in less than a month ago! Well since I was riding with three other people I was stuck, but my mom said she would take Evelyn to her house and I could just pick her up later. We saw Funny People which we assumed was a comedy so we thought it would last abot and hour and a half. My mom called me again and the baby was crying. My mom said she wouldn't take her bottle. She was just letting it run down her face and she wouldn't stop crying. It was awful! I couldn't get to my daughter and she was upset! Needless to say I couldn't enjoy the movie which was over 2 hours by the way! We ended up leaving before it was over. We had to get back! Traffic was terrible and it took so long to get home that Joey beat us home and he picked up the baby. The house was so hot and when he brought the baby home she was so worn out from crying all day. Joey tried to feed her and again she wouldn't eat. By then I was so overwhelmed I began to cry a little. Then joey realized why Evelyn was crying. The nipple on the bottle was a fast flow nipple. It was too much for her and she was choking on it. Then I burst into tears because I let it happen. It was an awful night! I felt so guilty! It was an honest mistake and there was no real harm done, but just felt like a terrible mother! I couldn't believe how upset I was.

Then yesterday I was trying to get to my mom's house because she was going to Evelyn's appointment with me. I had to turn around to get her shot record and the car died 6 times when I tried to leave the second time. Of course this was infront of about 5 landscape workers at my neighbor's house! Then the baby gets her shots! Then when she starts to get sick in the afternoon I was at my mom's and didn't have the baby Tylenol which doesn't sound like a big deal but Evelyn had a fever and she was in pain and screaming! What made it worse is that my mom put the Tylenol in the diaperbag and I took it out without paying attention. My mom had to run the store to get more. Then I had to be back at home for when the A/C guy came by, but since the baby was so upset I stayed at my mom's and she waited at my house for him. Of course the guy was 2 HOURS late! By the time my mom got back to her house she was in a lot of pain and the baby was worn out and I was getting a migraine!

See why I never want to leave the house again!?

I knew I would love Evelyn the moment I saw her, but I was not prepared for how much I wanted to make things perfect for her. I especially was not prepared for how awful I would feel when things weren't perfect. Based on all the stories I have heard from friends and family, mixing up the bottle nipple is NOTHING! I was shocked by some of the mistakes that were made, but all their children are alright. My mom keeps telling me that you just have to learn as you go along and realize that things won't always be perfect. Now my goal is to just relax and let the mistakes happen. Each mistake is just another lesson I am learning. I wonder if I can loosen up and really do that!

2 Month Check up

Evelyn had her 2 month check up yesterday: her weight was 10lbs 12oz, her length was 21 3/4" and her head was 13 3/4". I asked the nurse what percentile she was and she said her weight was about 50%, right on track and her length and head were 25%. I have to say that made me giggle a little bit because to us she is huge! We only really compare her to what we remember bringing home and now she is so much bigger, but the dr. said she will probably always be smaller. We really didn't expect a basketball player anyway!

W ended up having to put her on Zantac. Her reflux has gotten so much worse and now she seems to be in pain from the acid comming up. It breaks my heart to see her in pain so I really hope this works. I will keep everyone updated.

She also had to get her shots yesterday. The nurse was great and did them so quick that she was finished giving all the shots before Evelyn had time to react, but when she did react it was heartbreaking. She has a way of locking eyes with me and just crying. It's almost as if she is asking me why I let someone hurt her... needless to say I was in tears! She didn't have a very good reaction either. Later in the day she had a fever and her little thighs were swollen. At least she fell asleep after a while. We had to stay at my moms for a little while because the A/C was out, but I am so glad she gets comfortable for naps in her carseat! It was the hardest day I have had with her so far! I am so glad it is over!

Gotta go fast!

I know I am getting worse at blogging, but things have gotten very very hectic! My easy baby girl has gotten very demanding! She has very bad reflux so we are having to be more carful with feedings. She is almost smiling... she does this little half smile, but she won't fully do it yet! I think she is trying to drive me crazy! She is holding her head up pretty well and now we are working on doing pushups! This morning I put her in her Bumbo chair this morning. Isn't she cute!

Evelyn no longer sleeps through the night either! GRR! She is waking up to feed every 2 hours until about 5am. At 5am she usually does down for a long stretch until about 9:30 or 10am. So that is when I get my sleep!

There have been quite a few changes in our lives as well. Joey got a new job which means he will be able to be home in the evenings, weekends and holidays. This is so great for our family because he will be able to be around for Evelyn more. We are so excited for Joey to start his new job! A few days after he got word that he got the job, I lost mine. I didn't have anyone who could watch Evie full time and I told my boss that I could work a few hours a week until I found someone. I said I was thinking it would take a few weeks, but then I was told they would have to find someone to fill my position. So now I am unemployed!

Things are so crazy right now! I am trying to get this house in order so that I can relax a little. I think I am going to get someone to watch Evelyn next Saturday so that I can spend the day overhauling the house. We'll see if it happens!

So we shall see what the future holds for us. When I hold my precious angel, I can't help but know that everything will work out. She is a true sign that God answers prayers!

Evelyn's 6 weeks pictures...

Random Cuteness!

Joey brushing her hair straight up!!!

Here is a link for a few more pics! I am going to try to keep updating that album!

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2239479&id=37519697&l=fd63371d7f

Our first month!

So today Evelyn is one month old. I can't believe how much I love this little girl! It has been an exciting and scary month, but I couldn't have asked for more. Here are a few of the high points and not to high points of the last month.


Evelyn was born on June 2nd, but I was not able to leave the hospital until June 5th. That morning Joey and I woke up and started getting ready to leave the hospital and begin our new life as parents. We were so excited and TERRIFIED! The whole ride home I just stared at my angel in complete awe at what a blessed gift God had given us. I couldn't believe how much she was calmed by my voice. Here I was so nervous about being a mother and this fragile little thing trusted me completely.


My cousin, Denicia, stayed with us for a few days to help out. It was a learning experience! The first night Joey and I worked diligently making sure our bedroom was stocked with everything we would need to care for our little one. I'm not sure if we truly thought we wouldn't be able to walk to her bedroom if we needed anything or if we thought there would be an emergency situation where running to her bedroom and back would just take too much time, but we had enough supplies to last for days! We just looked at each other and laughed because we knew we were making a memory that would warm our hearts in the coming years!


So everything was going well. Although I was breastfeeding, we had to supplement with formula and she happily accepted it! I love watching Joey take care of our little girl. They had a special bond right from the start. I can't wait to see how their relationship grows and I just know he will be her hero. All little girls hold a special place in their hearts for their daddy!




A few days home and I started to feel a little off. As you can see by the picture I am little glassy eyed! Well I started to feel warm and when I took my temp it was 100.6. I played it off as nothing, but Joey wasn't convinced. He made me take my temp every few hours all night and it eventually got up to 102.5! The next evening I called the doctor (yes it took me that long to do anything about it - one of my many flaws that drives Joey nuts!) and he told me to go straight to the ER. We spent a few hours in the ER and had to go to my Dr the next morning and the outcome was a uterine infection. So I had to start a course of antibiotics, but it seemed to clear up pretty quickly.


Evelyn also had her first checkup. When she come home from the hospital she continued to lose weight which concerned her dr so we had to start supplementing with formula. Breastfeeding was already a challenge, but when we had to add more formula it got more difficult. We are still working on it and hopefully I will be able to continue to breastfeed. When she went back to the doctor at 4 weeks old, she was 20.5" and was up to 8lbs! When she was born she was 19.5" and 6lbs 14 oz and then she dropped to 6 lbs 4oz. She is our little miracle and I am enjoying watching her grow and learn!


Now that we are at our first milestone of 1 month I cannot tell you how blessed I feel. When my OBGYN was giving us the paperwork to be induced I couldn't help, but look over to a small waiting area in the office. It was a year ago almost to the day that I was sitting in the chair being told by a fertility specialist that our only hope of ever having a child would be IVF and I left in tears, completely heartbroken. This day I was leaving the office in tears because I was so excited to meet my little girl and my heart was overfilling with love. This past year was an incredible journey and I am ashamed to say my faith in God was tested, but God also gave me an amazing gift and I learned so much. I can honestly say that I understand what it means to hand things over to God and let Him take care of you. Looking back, the events leading up to the hurricane until I found out I was pregnant were the most amazing and reassuring, but I will explain another day. That is for another blog!


So happy 1 month birthday to Evie and here are so pics of my little angel's first month!