I have to loosen up!

The last few days have been so difficult around here and it ended with me telling Joey that I don't want to ever leave the house! Bad things happen when I leave the house! Last weekend was great! We went to dinner with friends and we even had a chance to take a nap after church... all three of us!

See how cute she was for dinner? She even had little shoes on!

Monday was going to be a great day too! I was planning on going out with some friends of mine for a girl's day out! We were going to go to lunch and a movie. My mom wanted to watch Evelyn so it all worked out!

We went to lunch and it felt good to just get out of the house and to be able to just eat lunch and not have to worry about Evelyn. We had just bought our tickets for the movie when my mom called. She said the A/C wasn't working. It was 88 in the house and Evelyn was getting too hot! We just had a new unit put in less than a month ago! Well since I was riding with three other people I was stuck, but my mom said she would take Evelyn to her house and I could just pick her up later. We saw Funny People which we assumed was a comedy so we thought it would last abot and hour and a half. My mom called me again and the baby was crying. My mom said she wouldn't take her bottle. She was just letting it run down her face and she wouldn't stop crying. It was awful! I couldn't get to my daughter and she was upset! Needless to say I couldn't enjoy the movie which was over 2 hours by the way! We ended up leaving before it was over. We had to get back! Traffic was terrible and it took so long to get home that Joey beat us home and he picked up the baby. The house was so hot and when he brought the baby home she was so worn out from crying all day. Joey tried to feed her and again she wouldn't eat. By then I was so overwhelmed I began to cry a little. Then joey realized why Evelyn was crying. The nipple on the bottle was a fast flow nipple. It was too much for her and she was choking on it. Then I burst into tears because I let it happen. It was an awful night! I felt so guilty! It was an honest mistake and there was no real harm done, but just felt like a terrible mother! I couldn't believe how upset I was.

Then yesterday I was trying to get to my mom's house because she was going to Evelyn's appointment with me. I had to turn around to get her shot record and the car died 6 times when I tried to leave the second time. Of course this was infront of about 5 landscape workers at my neighbor's house! Then the baby gets her shots! Then when she starts to get sick in the afternoon I was at my mom's and didn't have the baby Tylenol which doesn't sound like a big deal but Evelyn had a fever and she was in pain and screaming! What made it worse is that my mom put the Tylenol in the diaperbag and I took it out without paying attention. My mom had to run the store to get more. Then I had to be back at home for when the A/C guy came by, but since the baby was so upset I stayed at my mom's and she waited at my house for him. Of course the guy was 2 HOURS late! By the time my mom got back to her house she was in a lot of pain and the baby was worn out and I was getting a migraine!

See why I never want to leave the house again!?

I knew I would love Evelyn the moment I saw her, but I was not prepared for how much I wanted to make things perfect for her. I especially was not prepared for how awful I would feel when things weren't perfect. Based on all the stories I have heard from friends and family, mixing up the bottle nipple is NOTHING! I was shocked by some of the mistakes that were made, but all their children are alright. My mom keeps telling me that you just have to learn as you go along and realize that things won't always be perfect. Now my goal is to just relax and let the mistakes happen. Each mistake is just another lesson I am learning. I wonder if I can loosen up and really do that!

2 Month Check up

Evelyn had her 2 month check up yesterday: her weight was 10lbs 12oz, her length was 21 3/4" and her head was 13 3/4". I asked the nurse what percentile she was and she said her weight was about 50%, right on track and her length and head were 25%. I have to say that made me giggle a little bit because to us she is huge! We only really compare her to what we remember bringing home and now she is so much bigger, but the dr. said she will probably always be smaller. We really didn't expect a basketball player anyway!

W ended up having to put her on Zantac. Her reflux has gotten so much worse and now she seems to be in pain from the acid comming up. It breaks my heart to see her in pain so I really hope this works. I will keep everyone updated.

She also had to get her shots yesterday. The nurse was great and did them so quick that she was finished giving all the shots before Evelyn had time to react, but when she did react it was heartbreaking. She has a way of locking eyes with me and just crying. It's almost as if she is asking me why I let someone hurt her... needless to say I was in tears! She didn't have a very good reaction either. Later in the day she had a fever and her little thighs were swollen. At least she fell asleep after a while. We had to stay at my moms for a little while because the A/C was out, but I am so glad she gets comfortable for naps in her carseat! It was the hardest day I have had with her so far! I am so glad it is over!